I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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