I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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