Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
