Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i drank out of a bidet.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
