so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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