After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
