someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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