One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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