he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
