I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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