These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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