You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
