some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
