If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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