Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
