After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
