my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
