Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
