drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I could fuck to npr.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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