we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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