State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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