i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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