whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
