Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize