I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You're so nebulous sometimes
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I have aggressive nipples.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
