Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
