3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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