How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
