the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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