He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
