You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
