I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
