Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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