ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
