weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
