I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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