there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
