is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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