He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
