I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize