playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
