No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
