You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
