You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
