I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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