There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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