It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
