I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
