Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
