So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
They have beer where we have blood.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
