So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
