Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
