at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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