so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
