My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
