I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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