I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
