I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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