She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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