Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I looked at my own cervix.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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