she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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