worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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