She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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