Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
