She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize