I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize