I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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