I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
