What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
sarcasm needs its own font
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
