He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the condom got lost in my hair
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
