did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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