he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
