the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
