Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
